Audre Lorde: On “Jugular Vein Psychology”

Doing research for a writing assignment and found myself in arms/pages of Audre Lorde’s, “Sister Outsider.”
I wonder how some people survive without reading her brilliance. She is such loving brilliance.

The distortion of relationship which says “I disagree with you, so must destroy you” leave us as Black people with basically uncreative victories, defeated in any common struggle. This jugular vein psychology is based on the fallacy that your assertion of affirmation of self is an attack upon my self – or that my defining myself will somehow prevent or retard you self-definition. The supposition that one sex needs the other’s acquiescence in order to exist prevents both from moving together as self-defined persons toward a common goal.”

You see? We do nothing NOTHING for anyone, least of all ourselves, when we shrink to make others comfortable, when we pander to the least to avoid conflict or challenge, or when we prostrate ourselves to avoid confrontation of the mind and heart. I think maybe if we were all more fully realized, we would be capable of living our lives fearlessly and, consequently, more truthfully.