My blog is doing it’s own ecdysis and I’m not sure how to respond.
I am watching it, observing it. Similar to how I am with my stomach.
My stomach is this ever expanding universe of placenta, amniotic fluid, uterus, blood, fat, and baby. Inch my inch, it makes itself more elastic-friendly.
And as my belly grows, my blog is shrinking. Or becoming shy.
Who am I now? Three years ago, I was this bold, feminist writer, searching for meaning, community, and blasting mainstream feminism for its uncaring blind spots and US-centric mannerisms.
Now I am morphing into my own authentic writing style.
My desire to write has grown day by day and my time to devote to it is decreasing day by day as my energy levels deplete and whatever hormone is responsible for making my brain so scattered increases, I am wondering
Where is my writing going?
I’ll tell you where it’s going — it’s going to a place that I’ve never taken it before. Or, at least, I’m going to TRY and take it to a place it’s never been before: intertwined with my life.
Unbeknownst to most followers of this blog, I have a tiny blog for friends and family to read about my daily life. Unbeknownst to my other blog, I have this blog to write longer, free writes about life, feminism, injustice, irony, and love.
Symbolically, I am ready to merge the two together. I feel this NEED to make things as simple as possible and that means to stop separating my writing audiences. It means to be scared and let people in my circles of life KNOW my writing and try to have some faith in them. I have more faith in putting my words to strangers and faceless commenters than I do people I have to face in life.
It will mean careful writing, truthful writing, brave writing.
THAT means more time, more deliberation.
One of the things that most excites me about this step is my bravery to write like the memoirist that I am. I am not so much a blogger as I am a writer. I am funny. I also like to write about injustice. I am just a regular woman with an extraordinary desire to create and express the usually forgettable details of life. I am excited to return to MY kind of writing. I am excited, in a way, to use humor again. To be me.
And with that, my friends, my plan is to push this blog into a full website in the near future. I’m working on this (among many things), but it’s in the works. I ask for your support, your thoughts about a feminist memoirist website, and overall patience in getting this thing up and running.
My goal is to have it up before my son arrives.
With new life, comes a new beginning.
This is my ecdysis.